You might be totally exhausted from your little one keeping you up all night, nursing every few hours. One solution is to stop nursing at night. And even if it is difficult, it is possible to gently night wean your toddler.
So how do you do it? Night weaning before your toddler decides to give it up on his own is a big undertaking. There’s likely going to be some protest!
And on top of that, you have your own feelings to contend with. Even if you plan for a very gentle night weaning, you may still feel emotions of guilt and/or anxiety (Is my baby really ready to sleep without night feedings? Am I going to damage our relationship?). Frankly, your lack of sleep probably plays into these feelings and makes them worse.
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And let’s be honest: If you’re so exhausted that you can barely function (extra anxiety, moodiness, brain fog), it might be time to night wean. After all, a year or two of only getting broken sleep takes its toll mentally and physically.
Your 2 year old, 18 month old, or even 14 month old will be okay to learn how to sleep without the na-nas, and you will end up being a better mommy for it.
(By the way, if you’re wanting to wean from breastfeeding entirely, check out gentle weaning tips for toddlers instead.)
That’s why I’m here to help you learn when to wean off of night feedings, how to gently night wean, and how to know if the process isn’t working.
Table of Contents
When to night wean from breastfeeding
One of the most important things to remember is that, at least in Western countries, we have a really skewed perception of how baby and toddler sleep “should” be.
Baby sleep is big business. Lots of people market books, programs, blankets, night-lights, and more telling us that if we just use their product, our child will magically start sleeping through the night!
But remember, supply and demand is an important principle in breastfeeding, and going 8 or more hours at a time without nursing can lead to decreased supply.
For this reason, I believe it’s important to not night wean until at least six months. If you do choose to night wean before that time, you will need to get up at least once in the middle of the night to pump (which, frankly, sounds like more of a hassle than nursing a baby).
And some children really do need to night nurse all the way up to a year. It’s just a matter of both baby’s tummy and mom’s milk storage capacity.
I personally chose to wait until after my children were over a year old to night wean. Both girls were night weaned around fourteen months, and Budrow night weaned closer to twenty months (I’m not saying this is what you should do, I’m just telling you what I did).
I have found that, at least in my household, things go more smoothly if I start from a child-led approach: If I know my child wakes up several times a night (which is perfectly normal for babies and even toddlers), I need to make a point to go to bed early enough that I can still get enough sleep. In an ideal world, I would “sleep when the baby sleeps” and take naps, but as a full-time working mom, that option wasn’t in the cards.
RELATED: How to survive sleep regressions
How to prepare for gentle night weaning
Often, night weaning happens because you’re tired and desperate for sleep. Or for me, I chose to night wean my first two children when I became pregnant and lack of rest and night-time nursing contributed to my nausea.
RELATED: Nursing while pregnant – what you need to know
RELATED: Tandem nursing – Breastfeeding while pregnant or breastfeeding two children at once
But do yourself a favor! Don’t just charge in the very next night and refuse to breastfeed your toddler. She will be very confused (and upset), and you will be setting yourself up for a struggle. Instead, take a few days (or maybe a week) to get you both ready for the idea.
Separate sleeping from breastfeeding
There’s nothing wrong with nursing your child to sleep. I love to nurse my child to sleep – it’s so easy! But if you’re trying to night wean, you will want to make sleeping and nursing two separate events.
Instead of lying down to nurse your child each night, cuddle up in a rocking chair for your night time nursing. Start doing this for at least a week or two before night weaning. You’ll likely need to take more time helping your child go to sleep at night once you stop nursing to sleep, but just remember it’s the first step towards you getting unbroken sleep back.
Prepare your toddler
A few days or weeks before the big night, start explaining to your child that a change is coming. When getting ready to night wean my son, I told him, “Soon, Budrow will sleep all night long. Momma will sleep all night, and Budrow will sleep all night, and the na-nas will sleep all night. Then the sun will wake up, and Budrow can come see Mommy in the morning and get na-na!” We had this little conversation multiple times a day.
If you are bed sharing, you should introduce a new “big kid” bed (like this one) if possible. Don’t forget to look for non-toxic mattresses for your little one (like these).
RELATED: Best non-toxic toddler mattresses
Trust me, it’s much harder to night wean your little one if the boobs are right there, in easy access range. And if you’re wondering how to night wean while co-sleeping, you can, it’s just much harder. Basically, you’ll have to be really firm with setting limits.
Your child might appreciate the size of this little bed, perfect for toddlers. Plus, the guard rails are really helpful for children just learning to sleep in their on bed (trust me on this).
Even if you have a few nights in which you end up in bed with your little one halfway through, you’re at least getting her used to the idea that she sleeps in a new place now.
In addition, read books related to night weaning! There are a few gentle, beautiful stories that tell children what to expect after night weaning. These bedtime stories can make a BIG difference in your child understanding and accepting what’s to come.
If you want a book that’s personalized just for your child, check out my night weaning book template.
RELATED: Personalized books about toddler weaning
Prepare yourself for night weaning
It’s easy to remember that you have to help your baby get ready for night weaning. It’s a lot harder to remember that you need to put support systems in place for yourself too.
(UPDATE: My last baby (cue crying emoji) is now 14 months, and I’m exhausted. And even though I know he’s old enough to night wean, I still have angst over making the decision to do so. All this to say, you’re not alone if you’re having a lot of big feelings yourself. Just make the decision that works best for your family.)
The most difficult part of night weaning is keeping yourself from getting upset through the process. You’ll be lacking sleep, you’ll be frazzled by your child’s emotions, and this is a big transition for you too.
If you allow it, your own overwhelm will either cause you to give up after a night or two, or it will cause you to lash out at your child, adding to his already stressful transition.
For that reason, don’t try to night wean during a time that’s already stressful! First of all, your child can pick up on your mood, so if you’re already overwhelmed, he’s likely to be less easy. On top of that, if you already have something that’s going to keep you up, you don’t want to have an extra tax on your sleep on top of that. Choose a long weekend if possible to start the night weaning process.
How to gently night wean in a week
So you’ve prepared. You’ve read your night weaning books, you’ve explained to your toddler what to expect, and tonight is the night. If things go as planned, you should have your toddler fully night weaned within a week, possibly sooner.
The first night of night weaning
When your first night of weaning begins, make it clear what you are doing (but you’ve been doing this all along, right?). Before bed (preferably on a surface other than the bed), go ahead and breastfeed your little one before prefacing what the night is going to hold.
Explain to your child, “Okay, you’re going night-night, Mama is going night-night, and the na-nas are going night-night. In the morning when the sun comes up, you can have na-na!”
TIP: Go to bed early this night (you, not your child). You’re probably going to be up a few times, so give yourself a chance to get as much sleep as you can.
Even with preparation, you’ll likely have a few bad nights that involve a fair amount of crying. But your job is to prepare yourself and stay calm and responsive.
If your little one is upset, screaming, and/or crying, stay with him. Remind him that he will get na-na in the morning when the sun comes up, and that it is time to go night-night. You might have to do this a few times throughout the night.
RELATED:11 steps to calm tantrums
Of course, dad is welcome to help your little one get to bed. This might work better for some families, since, you know, he doesn’t have the goods. For us, my kids usually would not accept him for bedtime, so it was easier for me to just handle it. On top of that, listening to the screaming and crying (from baby not dad, lol) makes me more stressed than just being present myself. Do what works in your home.
I’ll be honest: we usually have a hellacious first night of night weaning, complete with multiple wake-ups. If it’s summer and the sun is barely peeking through the window at 5AM, you can bet your bottom dollar that we go ahead and celebrate as early as we can. “Hooray, the sun is up! You must be so proud that you slept all night without na-na!” And then, we nurse, emphasizing that it’s allowed because the sun is awake now.
The second night: It may be harder, or it may be easier
Congratulations on making it through your first night of night weaning! You deserve major props.
Make sure you do a great job of congratulating your little one too. One great way is to let him overhear you praising him to someone else. “Daddy, did you know that Budrow slept all night in his bed, without na-na? I know he’s so proud of himself!” Note that we’re focusing on the positive, and even if it was a terrible night, you’re still using this as a chance for encouragement.
Depending on your child’s personality, the second night may be harder or easier than the first. For many children, the second night may start with crying, but have fewer wake-ups. Do yourself a favor and still go to bed early tonight, just in case.
But some children are a little more stubborn determined than others (like my oldest). With these kids, the second night can be worse than the first! Your child remembers the first night of weaning, and is ready to fight back and try to keep you from winning this round. Getting him to sleep may be a real challenge!
Once again, first thing in the morning when he wakes up, congratulate your child and offer to nurse, repeating the rules (as Anna said, “The sky’s awake, so I’m awake”).
Finishing the night-weaning process
After the second night, you’re likely through the hardest part. You’ll have to repeat the process again for a few nights, but your little one will likely accept the new rules with much less resistance.
At this point, it may be tough for you to stay patient (especially if you’re tired). But remember, your little one needs your understanding right now! Stay mindful of his needs, and continue to remark on how well he’s doing each morning.
RELATED: How mindfulness can make you a better parent
How to know if your little one isn’t ready for night weaning yet
If by night 4 or 5 things are still just as bad, you may be better off waiting just a few months and trying again. There’s no shame in trying again later. In fact, this is what happened with Budrow after our first night weaning attempt. The second time (about 4-6 months later) went much more smoothly.
Setbacks with night weaning
For each of my children, it felt like every time I got him or her night weaned, they’d catch a cold or stomach virus. Like, the kind of illness that kept them up, miserable, and cranky all night long.
When they’re like this, it’s so much easier to deal if you just nurse. But at the same time, you just got them night weaned! What do you do?
Honestly, it’s up to you. Sometimes, I would let them night nurse for one or two nights, and then explain after they were better that we were going to start sleeping all night without na-na. Other times, I would just struggle through with them. Trust your Mama instinct.
UPDATE 4/21: This just happened with my youngest: An epic stomach bug that meant that he definitely need the electrolytes and antibodies that breastmilk provides. We’re in the middle of re-night weaning now. It’s going to be fine.
Another situation that might trip up the night weaning process is travel. It can be much easier to get little ones to sleep in an unfamiliar location if you breastfeed them. Again, it’s up to you.
Conclusions on night weaning
I hope this info gives you great ideas on how to night wean your toddler. Within a few weeks, your toddler should sleep through the night (hallelujah!).
The most important part of night weaning is keeping your cool so you can support your little one through this difficult transition. A great resource for this is the Night Weaning Action Pack. Make sure you grab your copy to get an easy printable list of tips, a progress tracker, and more.
And don’t forget to appreciate yourself for all the love (and milk) you’ve given your baby over the years. It’s so incredible that you’re showing your toddler that you’ll be there for them always, both through night nursing and then when they are weaning off of night feeds.
If you have any more questions or problems with gentle night weaning, be sure to let me know in the comments. Happy Parenting!
Thank you so much!!! Been struggling for weeks with this and realized there’s got to be other moms who have night weaned toddlers!! Truly grateful I found your blog.
I’m so glad to hear it helped! Keep me updated on how it goes.
Do you think there is any learned hunger impacting this process? I have been trying to wean my 15m old, but I’m worried she’s actually still hungry since she’s ben used to eating at least once over night her whole life.
Hi Noell,
I mean, maybe? It’s definitely a process. If you want to feel a little better about hunger you can try to give a high protein, low sugar snack (maybe some turkey or plain yogurt) right before bed to keep it from being an issue.
Or if it seems to be a problem and you’re awake enough to try, you can offer that piece of turkey in the middle of the night when she wakes up. If she accepts, then maybe she was hungry. If she stays upset and refuses, it’s probably just being used to nursing.
Keep me updated on how it goes!
I’ve been trying to nightwean 22 month old twins who co-sleep and love “nonnies “. It is very hard. It’s been 3 nights and I give in and nurse once it’s 2 or 3am and I need to sleep. One baby slept great last night, the other was not having it. Any advice? Should I try and get them in their toddler beds first? Or wait until they’re night weaned?
Do I keep refusing to nurse if they’re crying more than 20 minutes and keep waking up to nurse?
It’s very different for me to let them cry.
Help please!!
Hi Elysia, I know it’s SO hard. And with twins I can’t imagine how much harder it would be.
And it’s totally up to you. It sounds like maybe you can night wean the one baby pretty easily? That would be a good start at least.
We usually got them into a separate bed before night weaning so they weren’t waking up beside the boobs, but I would still lay beside them in their bed when they woke up.
I did gently refuse nursing for more than 20 minutes of crying at once, but I stayed present and generally tried to be reassuring that they could have “nonnies” in the morning. I didn’t just close the door and leave them screaming. I steeled myself to be able for a few nights of this, but it’s difficult when you’re exhausted.
Like I said, with my third I had to quit trying to night wean after about 4 nights of torture for both of us. He was much easier to night wean a few months later. So it’s okay to back down if that’s what you need.
Good luck and please keep me updated!
Thank you for responding Samantha! I really appreciate it. Your response and article are extremely helpful and encouraging.
I will keep you updated:)
I had the same questions kind of… in regards to night weaning twins because having 2 screaming in the middle of the night is super frustrating so of course you’re going to give in and then you have to tandem feed while you try not to nod off 😅 … so I think I will take the suggestion of weaning one at a time but that’s a tough decision (I think the older twin would night wean quicker and be more accepting of it; after this round of teething is over though because he’s been a cranky butt … however, the younger one wakes when he hears his brother crying! The younger one will fight me more on weaning but his screaming usually doesn’t wake his brother. Such a double edged sword; I wish I had help… or, even better would be if they just weaned themselves lol
That sounds so tough Georgia. Good luck!
Thank you for your article! I have been at a total loss for how to night wean my now 2-yr-old who is addicted to the booobie. I tried all the suggestions from friends, his dentist, and his pediatrician. I can personally only handle 10 minutes of his intense crying, so I feel like such a failure. And his heartbroken face is like I’m taking his best friend away from him. I will implement your steps in the near future, and finally feel hopeful. Thank you!!
Thank you for your wonderful advice! I recently found your blog and feel like it will be a life saver for us. I have a 2 year old who wakes up 3 times a night to nurse on a typical night and has just started climbing out of his crib with his sleep sack on. Do you recommend altering his sleeping situation (I.e. moving him to a mattress on the floor or “big boy bed”) prior to starting night weaning? We’d prefer not too but will do it if it will make a significant difference. Thank you in advance!
Hi Katie, Yeah, it sounds like it wouldn’t be very safe to keep him in the crib anymore. I think either a mattress on the floor or a toddler bed could be a good solution. Let him get used to it before night weaning. Good luck and keep me updated!
Would you recommend any other steps for night weaning a 1 year old? I’m not sure she’ll understand verbally what’s going on but I’m feeling very much like weaning as I’m 10 weeks pregnant and struggling with both.
Babies can understand much more than they can say back to you, so I think as long she’s a year old you can basically do the same process. I had to night wean at 13 or 14 months for the same reason – pregnant and too sick to night nurse. Good luck!
Hi! Thank you for posting this. I’ve been looking everywhere for any tips on night weaning a 1+ year old and couldn’t find much. My son is is almost 15 months and has been co-sleeping. I want to night wean and move him to a toddler bed. I also nurse him to sleep for bedtime and he wakes up 2x a night. Should we move him to toddler bed first before we night wean? Also, should I stop nursing to sleep for bedtime before the toddler bed? And when you did night weaning, and baby protested, what kind of methods did you do to try to soothe baby and not give in to nursing? Sorry so many questions!! Just really excited there’s finally help.
Hi Toni! My son just turned 14 months today and it sounds like we’re in a similar place (except mine is waking up more often than yours)!
And it’s really a chicken-or-egg thing about whether you move to a toddler bed first or night wean first. With both my girls, I night weaned them in my bed. With my older son (who night weaned a little closer to 18 months), I had him in his own bed before he night weaned.
And basically, I stayed with my baby while he/she cried. I just kept telling them they would get na-na in the morning and that I knew it was hard but that they would be okay. The main thing is being present with your baby through difficult emotions, just like you did when they were a fussy newborn.
You’ve got this 🙂 Keep me updated on how it goes. I assume you signed up for the action pack?
Hi my son is 2 years old and he will not go to sleep without na-na and wakes up multiple times throughout the night for it, coming into our room crying for it and sleeps in bed with us after getting it. I know I’ve created some bad habits here but I am desperate to wean and could really use some tips on how to do it. Even when my husband does get him to sleep he will wake up shortly after for na-na. We are at a loss as our 2 daughters almost self weaned.
That’s so tough Ashley! Have you gotten the action pack yet? Let me know how I can help!
Hey did you wean of your 2 year old yet & how did you do it? I’m
In the situation he’s 2 yr old and wakes up multiple times at night for the boob
This is great advice. That’s what I’m doing right now with my 15 mo old. I go sleep and wear a sports bra and started nursing before going to bed and at 6am but only in the couch. Each day is easier
The sports bra is a really helpful idea Kristin. Thanks!
Using your advice I’ve gotten my son weaned… mostly… I nurse my 20 month old at bedtime while we read then I tell him boobies go to sleep and I put on my shirt and he snuggles in and sleeps. We cosleep. But after 6 weeks and a few days where I caved because of a cold he still wakes a couple times a night. The early times I can snuggle him and sing and get him back to sleep with some
Crying but by 3,4, or 5 am he is verrrry adamant and mad. We end up getting up if 4 or 5. We use to sleep till 9 or even later. I figured since he is so consistent around those times maybe he is actually hungry. But I have tried he sippy cup with water but that makes him extremely angry anytime I offer and I’ve also tried Pedia sure in case it is hunger but again just super angry and pushes it away asking for boobie. I was giving in and nursing at that time because it was technically morning time if it was 4 or 5 but he doesn’t know it’s that time and will struggle at 3 am etc. so not sure if me nursing was confusing him. I stopped but now we’re getting up really early. I give him a higher calorie food before bed to try and help. Is my nursing him to sleep/while sleeping for naps causing a problem with the night time. I’ve been trying to just cut down to nursing him only at naptime. Because it’s my only way of getting him to sleep and I still enjoy it LOL
Hi Alisha,
Thanks for checking in! You do what’s best for the two of you. If you still enjoy nursing, there’s no reason to stop. If you’re okay with letting your little boy nurse at 3AM so that he goest back to sleep, that’s fine too. But if you’re just tired (and I can’t blame you), you can just remind him that he can nurse “when the sun comes up.” It’s just hard right now (if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere) because the sun comes up so late with it being fall and still Daylight Savings.
Let me know how it goes and good luck!
Hello Samantha!
Thank you for creating a site like this. I’m so looking forward to having a successful permanent night weaning process. I have an 18 month old daughter who I’ve been trying to night wean since 14 months. We stopped cosleeping night-nursing around 14 months. We were somewhat successful with night weaning (although she hasn’t really slept through the night, but maybe 4-5 nights), but then baby got a cold after traveling and we regressed. It’s been a struggle to night wean again, almost as if she knows I plan to stop the nanas at night again. Also due to teething, but baby also does not really sleep enough in general with only 1 less than 2 hour nap a day and maybe 8 hours of total sleep throughout the night (about 8p to 5:30a with 1-2, wake ups for the na-nas). I nurse and give cows milk throughout the day, nursing to sleep for naps and bedtime, but she seems to push away the bottle more and more to the point that I’ve been nursing her to drowsy and then feeding her the bottle just to make sure she is getting enough to let her sleep longer. There are times I nurse her to sleep during naps and before bed without a milk bottle bc she refuses it. It’s so hard for my husband to give her a bottle. Rare sly she’ll take it from him but if she sees me she’ll take it out of his hand and pass it to me. Almost like she doesn’t want anyone to feed her but me.
Im worried I’m confusing her with nursing her to sleep during her naps. And sometimes nursing her to sleep for the night. Am I not being consistent enough? I realize I don’t explain /talk to her much about the process, but definitely want to try it. I also plan to purchase the night weaning personalized book you suggested as I could see that being a helpful part of her nighttime routine.
My husband has tried to help me with night weaning, but she absolutely seems to hate him at night, but loves him during the day. He’s willing to help, but it’s like she doesn’t want him around. I’m a stay at home mom, so I can nurse her, but I need my sleep too. We have a 7 year old too – I need to be well rested to be a good mom to both. I can’t always nap with her (especially during weekends) as I have plenty to do during the day especially be a mom to my 7 year old.
Is it confusing for her to sleep on my boob? Bc when she wakes up, I’m not there anymore? The last memory she had before she went to sleep was her nursing from me. So she she wakes up and I’m not there, she seems to cry, a fearful type of cry. My husband said she’s overly addicted to my boobs/milk. My son was not like this. I also didn’t nurse my son much. And he took the pacifier. My daughter won’t take a paci of any kind. We have given baby cows milk in the middle of the night bc we thought she was extra hungry… maybe bc of a growth spurt or just didn’t eat enough before bed. Most of the time she’ll drink it, but sometimes she’ll push it away saying she doesn’t want it and will yank my shirt to give her the na-na.
I really, truly miss sleeping through the night. I feel like even when baby will eventually, God willing, be successful with night weaning, she’ll eventually catch a cold and baby will go right back to night Nursing again. Then it’ll be so hard to go through night weaning again.
Im seeking a permanent night weaning solution that even after sick and travel, they’ll go back to sleeping through the night. I think your suggestions will help bc I never tried talking to her. Like you said, they understand us more than we realize at this point. If she gets sick, my plan is to explain everything to her like you mentioned. I hope it’ll work.
In the meantime, should I stop nursing her to sleep for both naps and bedtime? Will it help her sleep through the night?
Thank you so much,
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
I’m sorry you’re so tired. I know how exhausting this stage is (as I’m in it myself).
Three out of four of mine have been the same way – Daddy is not acceptable at bedtime. It makes things so much harder!
I’m not sure I have the “right” answer – just do what best for the both of you. You can try nursing in a rocking chair or somewhere that isn’t bed and then cuddling to sleep from there. That might help some. And here’s the link to the night weaning book in case you haven’t gotten it yet.
Both my boys didn’t completely night wean until after 20 months, so your daughter is perfectly normal, even if it’s frustrating for you.
Don’t feel guilty about naps for yourself (although yes, I get that they’re not always possible).
You’ve got this,
Samantha
Spectacular post. Thank you, so clear and such a common sense approach. I am on the brink of trying with my third child ( she is 25 months) my elder two night weaned themselves when they were a bit older. The reason I feel the need to do this isn’t just the fatigue.. she has signs of tooth decay and the dentist thinks it is down to prolonged multiple night feeds with milk pooling and sugars from the milk acting on her teeth overnight. I feel pretty lousy about that. I take levothyroxine but don’t think that impacts as I checked before starting it. Thank you again for your article.
You’re so welcome Em! I don’t know all the details on cavities from night feeds, but from what I understand milk generally doesn’t pool in your child’s mouth as long as latch is good. Some kids just get unlucky and have weaker teeth. An IBCLC might have a different opinion? Either way, do what works best for you and her.
Out of curiosity, what age did your other two night wean on their own?
Hi Em,
I just wanted to say I am currently going through this with my 2.5 year old. Only found out a few days ago but feel so so bad about it! Started night weaning in the hope it’ll make a positive difference it’s all very emotional. Sending you solidarity x
Thank you so much for this helpful article! I was nervous about whether my 11-month-old was ready to quit his night feedings, but with your advice he only fussed a bit for the first half of the first night, and is now comfortable with his new routine.
It’s only been 3 nights, so I’m hoping he starts to wake up less in a few more nights. Right now he still wakes up every 2 hours like he did when I nursed him back to sleep, perhaps out of habit? I go in and rock him back to sleep. Do you think he will start to drop those wakings soon, or am I just replacing nursing with rocking? I am not interested in letting him cry himself to sleep.
Hi Corlea, honestly, it’s a wait and see game. Regardless, rocking is going to be easier to break than rocking, so even if it’s just a step down it’s leading towards more independent sleep. Good luck!
This is the only comprehensive blog about my concern. I quit work because I have been getting anxiety with 3 to 4 hours of sleep within 24hrs. I used to work at night. She wakes up often throughout the night crying when I am not beside her. Ended up being unproductive at work so I quit. Now, I want to go back to work. I need to.
I tried one night but we ended up both exhausted. I dont know what to say or how to prepare her. We cant have a routine because her dad ‘s work varies. She can only play with him after work which is usually past 8pm. Right now I still nurse her to sleep just so everyone can have their sleep except me. She can sleep fine when her grandma rocks her to sleep in their house. So I think its the nursing to sleep I have to stop.
I just really dont know how to prepare for it, the words to say. Especially when she is crying so loud.
That’s so hard Jem. Yeah, it’s just impossible to focus at work when you’re that sleep deprived. Regardless of how you choose to move forward, make sure you prioritize getting to bed early for a while. You’re doing great.
Tried to sleep train her today in her naptime. Took 1.5hrs!! I think we did good. 😁
I explain to her repeatedly if she wants to dede, we can do it on the chair or just sitting.
I also told her, she can dede when she wakes up. She can watch tv, dinosaurs and I will give her chocolate.
She crieeeeeeed like forever!! But I kept my composure. Im glad.
Shes fighting her sleep, I can see it. But shes testing me and checking out whats really allowed or not.
I nurse her sitting and when shes drowsy and eyes closed, i lay her down. She cried the first time so I put her on my lap again. She nursed for a bit while still sitting and when she closed her eyes, i put her down again on the bed. She fussy for a little bit AND THEN!! she went to sleeeeep!! Heaveeen!! 🥰🥰🥰
Thank you to this blog I got the courage to finally get into it. The other comments are also helpful. I got to see what I really need to do.
Do I focus on naptime for now or could we continue later tonight at bedtime?
Fantastic Jem! It’s so great that you were able to keep your composure – that’s the key!
It’s up to you. Bedtime is definitely harder than naptime.
My 16 month old has weakened enamel and the beginnings of cavities. I have been told to stop all night feeds. I am interested to learn if this is really contributing to the issues or not. Its been a struggle to try and eliminate night feeds, leaving both of us exhausted. we co-sleep and it was going so smoothly until i was told i need to stop.
If you have any tips or thoughts I would love to hear them!
Hi Amber,
I mean, there’s lots of moms who do night feedings and their children don’t get cavities. I honestly think it’s a matter of genetics and bad luck, not night nursing.
I know it’s tough. You’re doing great!
Night 5 my babe asked boob and when I said boobs asleep she asked to rock on chair. Went great all times she woke. Night 6, now, it’s like the sky fell, just as bad as nights before. 3 wakes in 2hours and each overwhelmed and unable to soothe or settle. Eventually using light and tv to establish level place. I work in mental health with kids have fair knowledge child development and needs and we’re pretty attuned. But I worry she experiences emotions in such big way, like me, so is this just Her way of transitioning from boob at night, or just too much now and I should stop? I’ve held a firm line and done a lot of emotion talk throughout, we bedshare and I’m definitely her source of comfort, – daddy is not received well at all. I’m good at holding boundaries and can keep going if that’s right to do, just now questioning more strongly if it is right to do. ….. She’s almost 2 and half yrs btw
Hi Sarah, that’s so hard. Honestly, I think it’s up to you. Trust your mama instinct and your baby. Good luck and keep us updated!
Very relatable article, explained beautifully. Going to try this with our daughter and is it a good idea to stop night feeding and also move her to a separate room at the same time?
Thanks Aarti! And honestly, it’s up to you whether you do both at the same time or do it one step at a time. I feel like one transition at a time is easier on everyone, but you do what works for your family. Good luck!
Just wanted to say thank you for this helpful article and for your tireless responses to all the frazzled mums! It is incredibly kind of you.
I’m midway through night 9 of night weaning my 20mo son, and it has been a tough night so far tonight. Most nights have been ok and we’ve been able to resettle him reasonably quickly, but unfortunately tonight and one other my son has had an extended hysterical crying wake-up which has been so hard. I cried too tonight!
Reading your blog and all the comments/your responses has been a helpful way for me to reset my emotions. Thanks again. : )
I’m sorry you had a hard night Jennifer! Night weaning is so tough. I hope that was the worst of it and it gets better soon. Keep us updated and thanks so much for reaching out 🙂
I can’t believe your dedication by responding to al is tired moms for YEARS. Thank you for your support and presence. My son is 23 months and I just started my second attempt at night weaning last night. The first go was about 4 months ago, and I gave up after 3.5 weeks of split nights when we caught COVID and I desperately needed sleep. I was hoping it had been long enough that he might be more ready now, but last night he woke up around 12 for his first feed of the night and was not able to fall back asleep until 3:30 when I would not nurse him. This is how every night went the first time I tried to night weaning. We do bedshare, but spent probably half that time in the rocking chair (that’s where he finally fell back asleep). I was just wondering how long I should try before accepting that he’s not ready. I’m dedicated to a couple weeks, but I was so sleep deprived after almost a month last time, and it’s almost the holidays, and I don’t know if I can make it that long again. I had been planning on completely weaning after he turns 2, but daytime nursing isn’t that disruptive if he isn’t ready. I need the night nursing to go, though. He’s up 4+ times a night and always has and I’m ready to be done 😂
Hi Jamie, I’ve been through this a lot, so I know how hard it is! Thank you for your kind words.
With that said, I wouldn’t try past a week or two. If it’s not getting at least marginally better by night 5, I would say to wait and try again later. Good luck!
This is very helpful thank you! Currently, I nurse my 15 month old to sleep and put him down in his crib to sleep, he wakes often to nurse back to sleep but doesn’t transfer well for the middle of the night feedings. Would I stay beside him whiles in his crib and comfort him? Or pick him up and rock him? I need sleep 🙁
Hi Miranda, That’s so tough! Do what works best for you. If you’re fine with continuing to nurse, then do that (and if you’re comfortable you can even let him sleep next to you afterwards, especially with him being over a year). If you need a change, you can try to night wean.
Either way, go to bed early for now. Good luck!
This is great info! I have a question, our toddler goes to bed fine on her own for the first half of the night (although we’ll be working on getting her to sleep without nursing to sleep first) but like clockwork, she wakes up around 2am and gets out of her toddler bed and walks into our room and into our bed. I of course give in since I’m in bed and it’s easy to just grab her and pull her into bed with us. Any tips on how to break this habit without putting her crib bars back up or locking her door? Thanks!
Hi Leigh, this isn’t uncommon. And likely if you lock her in she’ll just cry at her crib or her door. You can either resolve to take her back to her room when she comes in (difficult when you’re half asleep, I know), or you can just let her stay with you. It’s up to you. Good luck!
Hi there! I’ve been scouring the internet for about three or so months trying to find the magic key to night weaning. My firstborn weaned around 22-23 months, and while he was upset about it, he was easily comforted by cuddles and just being able to reach his hand down my shirt and basically hold boobie lol. My second son is currently just about 22 months, and I am exhausted from the night feeds! Not to mention my hormones must be changing and my nipples feel like they’re being grated with sandpaper after the first feeding. Additionally, we’d like to try for baby 3, but I can’t sustain a pregnancy while nursing because my body is very sensitive to prolactin.
My son is very attached and he has a unique skill to throw down in a level 10 meltdown no matter the time or place the moment he realizes that his goal can’t be met. This is with anything, but also with nursing and also at night. He cries and hits and thrashes and all of the things you don’t want at night, and won’t accept cuddling as comfort. He only wants nursing. But I’m going to give it a try again, anyway, for my sanity. I’ll check back in after tonight in case any other desperate mamas wander this far in the comment section and need encouragement lol.
That’s so tough. You’ve got this, Morgan!
We just went our second night no-nursing! We had one night, but had to back pedal due to some mastitis (fun times,) and last night was much better than the first. The first night was a NIGHT, but last night was much better. Still many wake ups, fussiness, and needing to be rocked back to sleep, but no true tears, no wild flailing, and he eventually accepted cuddles when he calmed down. I’m hoping this trend continues, and I am so so glad to have found your page while hunting! Thank you Dr. Radford!! 👍🏻