Whether you are pregnant and planning to co sleep with your baby, or your baby has arrived and you’re finding yourself co sleeping because that’s the only way you get any rest, you’re not alone. Many parents opt for a family bed.
Whether or not they admit it, many parents co sleep with baby. In fact, 70% of women involved in a study in Georgia admitted to bed sharing with baby at some point. Another study found that 56% of breastfeeding mothers co slept with their baby on a regular basis.
Bed sharing makes it much easier to get sleep while breastfeeding, and it gives you a better chance of breastfeeding success. Besides, there’s something really sweet about a family bed.
But if you choose to co sleep with your baby, it’s important to do so safely. In fact, I have a whole article on safe bed sharing with baby (based on extensive research while co sleeping with all four of my children).
RELATED: Bed sharing safely – How to co sleep safely with the cuddle curl
Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. You can read my full policy here.
One of the most essential parts of safe co sleeping is a safe sleep surface. Many mothers choose to sleep with baby in bed, cuddled up beside them.
(WARNING: NEVER fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or in an armchair. If you are so tired that you think you might fall asleep with your baby, you are much better off going to bed with your baby than accidentally falling asleep with him on a sofa.)
Here, I discuss what you need to know to choose a safe surface for your baby to sleep on if you choose to bed share.
Table of Contents
How to choose a safe mattress for bed sharing with baby
Most importantly for baby’s safety, you need to have a firm mattress if you choose to bed share. You want to make sure your little one doesn’t sink into the mattress, making it more difficult to breathe.
In addition, memory foam is not a good surface for co sleeping with baby. The way that memory foam sinks isn’t safe. On top of that, memory foam often off gases dangerous chemicals, which we’ll get into more detail with later.
What size mattress do I need to co sleep safely?
Depending on your situation, you may need a larger mattress to co sleep (even though your baby is so tiny!)
If it is just you and baby (no partner in bed), a full size bed will be fine. But if your partner is in bed with you, you’ll need a larger bed. It is safer for your baby to be to the inside of you (instead of beside the edge of a mattress), so you want to make sure there’s plenty of space between you and your partner. My husband and I made this work with our first two children with a queen mattress, but we got a king before we had our third child and I think it was a good idea.
WARNING: Do NOT let other children or pets sleep in bed with you if you choose to co sleep. Neither you nor your partner should sleep with your baby if you smoke or are under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medications that make you excessively tired.
What toxic chemicals do I need to watch out for when co sleeping?
Believe it or not, one of the worst places for being exposed to toxic chemicals is your bed. You spend around one-quarter to one-third of your life sleeping, so you are in close contact with whatever chemicals are in your mattress.
And when you think about the fact that infants sleep 12-14 hours a day, that really adds up! You’ll want to make sure your mattress is non-toxic.
Conventional mattresses are usually made with polyurethane foam, which can release dangerous chemicals such as fire retardants and other additives. These chemicals are “off-gassed” from the mattress, meaning you can inhale them from the air. Plus, the concentration of these volatile organic compounds (VOCs) is much higher at right above the surface of the mattress (you know, where your breathing space is during sleep).
For these reasons, it’s better to choose mattresses with the following qualities:
No fire retardants added
Polyurethane foam (and memory foam made from polyurethane) has some great properties. It’s comfortable to lie down on, it resists mold and mildew, it wears well, and it’s cheap. The problem? It’s also highly flammable.
Manufacturers solved this problem by adding fire retardant chemicals to mattresses. Previously, polybrominated diphenyl ethers (PBDEs) were used, but we have found that there are scary consequences to this chemical – reproductive effects, breast cancer, and neurological effects. And these problems are more likely to affect babies and children than adults.
In 2015, California began requiring that all furniture be labeled as to whether it contains fire retardants. You’ll find a tag on all newer furniture and mattresses like this:
Avoid vinyl in mattresses
Sometimes a mattress is made with latex or some other polyurethane foam free filling, but then they don’t stick the landing because there is vinyl casing in it.
Vinyl, made of PVC, is often used in waterproof mattress covers. Unfortunately, PVC is known carcinogen linked to all sorts of problems, including asthma, learning disabilities, reproductive effects, and even cancer.
In addition, vinyl often contains phthalates, chemicals that make plastics more flexible. Phthalates are also endocrine disruptors, meaning they can cause reproductive effects and be related to some cancers.
And the scariest thing about all these chemicals (flame retardants, vinyl, and phthalates)? They bioaccumulate, meaning that once you’re exposed, they are stored in fat tissue (which we all have) and stay in your body. There’s no “detox” you or your child can do to get rid of these chemicals.
Which certifications let me know that a mattress is non-toxic?
There are several certifications out there claiming that they mean a mattress is a safe product. But you have to watch out! Not all of them actually mean something. Here’s a quick rundown on what each certification means and how reliable they are.
GOLS and GOTS
The Global Organic Latex Standard (GOLS) and Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS) each tell you that a mattress is made from with either 95% pure organic latex or 95% pure organic material. They contain no polyurethane foam and no fire retardants.
The only trick: Make sure that the mattress itself is certified GOLS and/or GOTS. If it uses a material that is certified GOLS in one layer of the mattress but then another layer contains toxic materials, it doesn’t really help.
Greenguard-Gold and Okeo-Tex Standard 100
Both Greenguard-Gold and Okeo-Tex Standard 100 certifications set strict limits on VOC emissions from products. The Okeo-Tex Standard 100 Certification is a bit stricter because it prohibits specific toxic chemicals from being in products.
Which mattresses are best for co sleeping?
When you’re choosing a mattress to share with your baby, you have to consider two issues: mattress firmness and toxic burden. Here, I’ve listed several great natural or non-toxic mattresses that are firm enough to keep your little one safe.
Plushbeds
Plushbeds, made in California, is both GOTS and GOLS certified. They also have a Greenguard Gold certification, so you can be sure this bed is non-toxic and safe for your child.
Plushbed mattresses come in several models. For co-sleeping, don’t choose memory foam. Instead, I suggest the Botanical Bliss or Natural Bliss latex mattress in firm. Both models are made without a coil system, instead relying on solid layers of organic wool and organic latex (with an organic cotton cover).
Plushbeds offers free returns along with a free 100 night trial.
Check out Plushbeds here.
Naturepedic
The Naturepedic mattress is crafted in Ohio. This company is GOTS and GOLS certified. It is different from the other mattresses listed in that it is an innerspring mattress made of certified organic cotton.
Both the Naturepedic Chorus and Naturepedic Verse mattresses are firm enough for co sleeping. The Verse is listed as a kid’s mattress, but it comes as large as a queen size.
If you order directly from Naturepedic, they have a 90 day money back guarantee.
My Green Mattress
My Green Mattress is another good choice of a firm, non-toxic mattress brand. This company is also GOLS and GOTS certified, as well as Greenguard Gold certified.
Their Natural Escape mattress is made with a high quality, spring-latex hybrid design. It has a five-zone, pocketed coil system to provide comfort in the lumbar region and extra support at the edge of the mattress (which is important, because no matter how tiny your baby is, she can always seem to shove you to the edge of the bed). It uses organic latex at the surface, and organic wool as part of the top cover to allow more wicking and cooling. Hand tufting and stitching on the mattress cover sidesteps the need for toxic adhesives. It is fairly firm and safe for co-sleeping.
If you prefer a more affordable option, you can check out the Kiwi mattress from My Green Mattress. It’s a very firm mattress, so it’s safe for bed sharing.
RELATED: Kiwi Mattress Review
Finally, My Green Mattress offers a 120 day money back guarantee. And with a much lower price point than other truly organic, non-toxic mattresses on the market, it can be a great choice for your family.
Check out My Green Mattress here.
Avocado
The Avocado mattress company is also GOLS certified, GOTS certified, and Greenguard Gold certified. In addition, they have the coveted Okeo-Tex Standard 100 certification.
Avocado’s Green Mattress is tufted by hand to avoid dangerous adhesives. They advertise themselves as a firm mattress using five support zones for lumbar support and perimeter strength.
Avocado also recently launched their Eco Organic mattress in case you’re looking for a more economical option. It is also firm (although not quite as firm as the Kiwi from MGM) and safe for bedsharing.
RELATED: Avocado Eco Organic mattress review
In addition, Avocado gives a generous one year trial period so you can be sure you love your mattress.
Check out Avocado here.
Soaring Heart
Soaring Heart is based in Seattle, Washington. Their mattresses are both GOLS and GOTS certified, meaning they contain no chemical fire retardants or other toxic chemicals. In fact, their organic latex mattress is made from a single piece of latex wrapped in soft, organic wool.
Make sure you choose a firm mattress for bed sharing.
Soaring Heart has a 30 day Comfort Guarantee, where they will allow exchanges within the 30 days of purchase. Make sure you choose a firm mattress for bed sharing.
Check out Soaring Heart mattresses here.
How to position your mattress for safe co sleeping
Once you choose a mattress for your family bed, you’ll want to make sure you have it safely positioned.
Ideally, you should have your mattress directly on the floor (not on a bed frame). That way, your baby is safe in case there’s a fall.
In addition, you should not have your mattress pushed against a wall. I know it might seem tempting to do this to avoid falls, but the problem is that your baby could roll into a crevice between the mattress and the wall. Just have your bed on the floor and keep baby to your inside on the bed.
Conclusions on choosing the best mattress for co sleeping
I hope this post has helped you with all the considerations you’ll need to make when choosing a mattress for bed sharing. If you have more questions on avoiding toxic chemicals in your home, make sure you sign up for my 11 Simple Swaps for a Healthier Home guide. Enjoy your family bed!
Wow, this is really helpful. Thank you!
You’re so welcome!
Thank you! Some of the mattresses listed are described as medium firm on the websites. Is that ok, or would the mattress need to be firm firm for bedsharing with a baby? Thank you.
Hi Esther, I’d check with the manufacturer about how their “medium-firm” compares to other brands. The main thing is that your baby doesn’t sink into the mattress at all and that you don’t create such an indentation with your own body that your baby gets wedged.
Do you have recommendations of mattress toppers that could be used to firm up a mattress that’s a little too soft? I was looking into a 3″ firm topper from Sleep On Latex but don’t know the best way to make sure it actually is firm enough to be safe.
Hi Robin, it looks like the 3″ topper is the way to go. Check on their return policy before you commit. Let me know how it goes!
Thank you! They do have a 30 day return policy. Fingers crossed this does the trick, if it does I’ll update so people who have a similar mattress as me have an option.
Robin – did you get the topper? How did it work out? Just how soft was your previous mattress?
We made the mistake of ordering an Avocado and I “clicked attached pillow top” instead of ordering separate – not thinking about that being a hazard. It’s still extremely firm, but a risk..so I might get a 1″ topper to compensate for my mistake.
Maybe @Samantha you have some feedback on that?
Hi James, I know Robin said she liked her topper. I’d love to know what she says.
Hi James I tried replying earlier but I think I submitted incorrectly! Chalk it up to sleep deprivation. Unfortunately the topper did not make it firm enough for us. My baby would have been fine alone but with me on my side, I made too much of an indent and baby would roll toward me in a way I felt was dangerous. I wanted to cosleep to do side lying nursing and I worry if we fell asleep like that he could roll forward into my chest and not be able to get out. He is only 6 weeks. I am not sure if the avocado mattress you got is possibly firmer than our Tempurpedic Hybrid medium firm mattress so maybe yours would be firm enough that this topper would help. They do have a 30 day return policy if you wanted to try it.
Hi Samantha, I tried to reply to James with our verdict (topper didn’t work for our hybrid memory foam mattress unfortunately) but I don’t see my comment and it has been a few days. Did it not go through it does your site moderate comments? Just wanted to check 🙂
My bad, I guess I just didn’t submit it correctly! ????
Hi Dr. Radford,
Can I cosleep with my 10 month baby on a mattress topper on the floor instead of a mattress? My boy fell down from the mattress once and it was a hard drop. But I don’t know if mattress topper is enough comfortable for baby?
Hi July, yeah, baby falling down from the bed is always scary for everyone.
It depends on how firm the topper is. I would only feel comfortable with that if it was a firm topper and there was no way to get tangled up in the edges.
An alternative is to just take your mattress off the bed frame and have it directly on the floor. It’s different, but it’s temporary.
Let me know how everything works out 🙂
so helpful! is there any way to test that your mattress is firm enough?
Hi Sophie, this video gives a way to test your mattress’s safety. Hope this helps!
Are you putting a mattress in the floor on some kind of pad? What are you using to prevent it from getting moldy? Is the mattress still save if you put it on top of a box spring? I plan on getting a king size avocado green mattress so there will be plenty of room to sleep in the middle.
Hi Keli, I didn’t use a pad, and I think a box spring would be fine. The main thing is just making it a shorter fall. And enjoy the mattress – great choice!
Thanks. I think I am going to get a low platform bed frame. I used a mattress in the floor before and it got moldy but thankfully it was a cheap mattress. Is the hybrid Avocado Green mattress safe for cosleeping? I know it needs to be firm so no added pillow top. There is no option for softness so I am assuming it’s firm. I fell asleep unsafely with my first but thankfully nothing bad happened. . Doing everything I can for the second to make cosleeping safe knowing falling asleep BF is inevitable. As a physician we were taught no cosleeping. As a result I had not planned anything and I was falling asleep and she wasn’t making it back to her bassinet.
Hi Kelly, yes, that’s the problem: We’re taught “best practices” but they’re not realistic (and for that matter, uncommon in most parts of the world). So we need to know how to cosleep safely.
And yes, the Avocado Green mattress is firm when you don’t add the pillow top.
Up to what age of baby do all these rules apply? I have twins who are 9 months old and bedsharing with more and more often, so I’m wondering if I need to change our mattress as its not very firm… But maybe it’s not as essential if the babies are approaching a year old? Thank you 🙂
Hi Sophie, generally, the recommendation is to keep a firm infant mattress for the first year and then switch to a toddler mattress (or flip your child’s mattress if it’s dual sided). With that said, the toddler mattress is still fairly firm, so a firmer mattress for your little ones is probably ideal. Thanks!
Very informative and helpful blogs for every mom having baby! We have to choose the ideal mattress which we can share with our babies and which don’t harm their health as well. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Hi! Thank you for this it’s very helpful! Did you ever try the Pure Eco green mattress? They say it’s the most firm. I just want to make sure I get the safest one for bed sharing with my 8 month old.
Hi Amanda, I haven’t had a chance to try that one yet! I’ll have to look it up. Thanks!
Hi. Your articles have been so helpful. For better or for worse, we got a new mattress just before baby. It is on the firmer side, but it’s tufted and the indents are pretty deep and large. I’m worried about baby getting stuck in one in an unsafe position. Do you have any suggestions to remedy this? Maybe a firm mattress topper? (Any recs?) Thanks!
Glad these have helped, Jennie! Do you mean the little tufts that hold the mattress together? I don’t think that would be a problem but I’d have to see to know for sure. I always liked having a bassinet for baby in the earliest months.
And I’ll have to look into mattress toppers. A lot of them are memory foam and not great.